


Drowning

by Blue_eyed_dmigod



Series: RibCage [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura metioned, Angst, Heavy Angst, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance/Shiro - Freeform, Langst, M/M, Shiro/Lance - Freeform, lance is homesick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 03:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11981481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_eyed_dmigod/pseuds/Blue_eyed_dmigod
Summary: Lance is alone, in the dark, with his thoughts.





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> I've been battling these thoughts for a while now. So I wrote them into this story. Lance's thoughts aren't the same as mine but are very close. So enjoy. 
> 
> This story is heavy with the subject of depression and I am only writing my feeling. If you ever need to talk to some, I'm here.

"I've talked with Allura, we aren't able to stop by Earth... I'm sorry Lance." He looked guilty. "Don't worry about it... We'll next time." I smile and watched Shiro get up, we usually talked at night. About what to do since he wasn't all so sure. At times, it was hard to see him second guess himself but I seemed to always have the words to make him happy. But also We talk about Earth, home. Though we aren't able to go yet... I still ask. "We will talk tomorrow Lance. Just... Get some rest." Feeling his lips press against my forehead before leaving the room. Hearing the door close.

I sigh softly, seeing the glow of my armor on the corner. Glancing around, it was dark. Biting my bottom lip. Why did I feel this way? Like nails climbing up my back, scratching at the scars. I was fine minutes ago, why did it hit like this? Why am I so useless that I need someone? Taking deep breaths and closed my eyes. Moving back against the wall. The air was so still and quiet, I am able to hear every breath. The ship was too quiet at night.

It felt like I drowning. The quiet let my thoughts feel. like they were wrapping around my throat. A soft sob slipped out of my mouth, quickly putting a hand over. I wasn't crying, I can't be. I'm not weak, I can't be weak... I can't let everyone down... I'm always in the way... They are weaker with me around. All I do is mess up, making the problems bigger than they are.

I softly cry, my body shook. It felt like a frozen wall in my mind, getting slammed with water. The drowning feeling never leaves, it holds onto you. It feels like you're drowning while everyone else is breathing in the same room. Minutes pass, feeling my throat dry. No more tears left. Just the feeling of weakness in my chest. I drop my head in my lap, staring.

My stomach turns, the feeling of someone just kicking it over and over. Bile felt like it was flooding my mouth, gulping. It burned the back of my throat, and had a horrible taste. I slowly moved to a laying position, curling up on my right side, resting my head on a pillow. Grabbing the one Shiro usually leaves for me, and held it tightly. Nuzzling my head in it. I just needed someone, but it was too late now. Anyways, we are heros, we can't show any weakness... I can't show that I'm more useless. I moved onto my other side.

Deep deep down, I felt empty. Like a black hole slowly clawing it's way out. Maybe I was just homesick, I begged for the pass few days to go home. Just to feel the rain again, just to say I'm okay to my family. I'm afraid of forgetting everything about my home. As I repeat the dates, my brother's and sister's name. But while I was doing so, for a split second, I couldn't remember my little brother's name. Feeling my heart pick up speed. I am so afraid of forgetting.... I just want to go home....

I feel my shaking fingers gripping the pillow, my nails making dents into it. I wanted to scream, loud enough for my family to hear. Loud enough for someone... Now my head was thumping in pain, from the crying. I don't know how long I was laying, just getting pressed against the wall with my thoughts. It felt like knives going into my heart.

_I can't deal with this._

Getting up, using my jacket sleeve to wipe my eyes. Holding onto Shiro's pillow and walked to his room. I only felt the calming waves in my thoughts when he was around. I don't even bother to knock, he would probably wake up from the sounds of my slippers on the ground. Hearing him groan and rolling over, "Lance?" His voice sounded tired. "What's wrong?" His head tilted to the side, his room was brighter than mine.

I slowly move without a sound and lay on his bed, curling up against his side. Holding onto him. I heard a soft sigh, and then fingers softly playing with my hair. "I'm.. forgetting.." I softly mumbled, "Forgetting what?" "I'm forgetting home Shiro... I almost forgot one of my brother's name." I feel the panic returning, before a finger tilted my head up. Looking up at him, "I'll ask again... Don't worry now. Get some sleep." He spoke softly, having the voice that could put you to sleep. I sigh softly, "Alright.." Moving closer to him, feeling a blanket being pulled over.

 **\---**  
**Extra:**

"Good work Sharpshooter!" Shiro grinned and rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Lance."


End file.
